You may be wondering about the “necessity” that triggered my need to simplify. I guess everyone has their why and while I’m not ready to share my story in full I will say that it’s been a year.
I’ve managed most of my life with what’s called high functioning anxiety – more than the normal amount of worry and overthinking but by no means crippling. Like everything in 2020, it changed quickly. Now that I’m slowly on my way back up from the crash I can say I’ve learned at least two things, so don’t say I wasn’t productive during the lock down.
One, it’s okay to be “not fine” some days. Don’t we all have a reflexive habit of responding “I’m fine, all good, no worries” to any inquiry into our general well being? To be fair most times it’s simply a greeting and the asker doesn’t care or is trying to remember if she turned her flat iron off, but there are people who genuinely want to know. How great would it be if we said “I’m not fine, it’s not all good and things are very much worries”?
Two is related to one. It’s okay to accept help. I have found that being honest with my friends about how much things suck sometimes has allowed them to be of service to me and feel like they can help in what might seem like a helpless situation.
So I keep this quote up at my desk to remind me that it’s alright to catch feelings sometimes and “gasp” talk about them. The good feels you feel after are well worth the awkwardness.